I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
