Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
