So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
