btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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