We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
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And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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