New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize