i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
