around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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