He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
