Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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