Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
