I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
