i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
