Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
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He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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