I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize