Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
