Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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