Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
