I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
