I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
