he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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