i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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