i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize