I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
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Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
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Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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