i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
not ubering you a puppy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
