You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
