I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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