It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
