i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
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in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
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I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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