how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
