I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
