Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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