I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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