I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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