I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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