My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
