I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
