A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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