I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Boobs are out for the taking
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
