My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
sarcasm needs its own font
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
