i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize