she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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