Ambien. No doubt about it.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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