I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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