Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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