At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
