Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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