What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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