So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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