Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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