I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish you could order shots online.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So squirting runs in the family.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
