they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
