Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
