The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
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