if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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