I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
