Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
