Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
