Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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